And yes I did speak of myself in the third person in the blog title. Cute, huh?
Today I turned 35 (actually that happens at precisely 9:59pm Eastern Standard Time) and on this occassion every year I assess my life. How am I doing? How am I being? But this year The Holy Spirit spoke to me and said I'm only 18 years old because it was 18 years ago when I gave my life over to Christ Jesus and began to take up my cross and follow Him.
It was then that the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I, in fact, wasn't living before I had accepted God's gift of salvation offered exclusively through His only begotten Son Jesus.
I really sat and thought about that and let it sink in to my core. It was the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the human race. This lie "I'm alive". If in fact you have not received His gift, you are dead in your sins. And I was dead. In MY sins. I won't go into the horrible despair I was actually in immediately before accepting Jesus because that's not the point of this writing. So what is the point?
What in hell do you want? Nothing. Then why are you choosing to reside there? And why was I? I realized I'm a liar. Simply because I told a lie. I realized I'm a blasphemer. Simply because I used God's name in anger. I realized I'm an adulterer. Simply because I've looked with lust. I realized I'm a murderer. Simply because I've hated. I don't want this. I didn't want this. I just wanted to live.
I want to live. But what's life? I want peace. That's freedom from disturbances but what is the disturbance keeping me from doing? I want joy. That's profound pleasure but for what? I want purpose but what's the point? And I want love but to love who or what? You see these can become trite phrases we use to "live a better life" but without Jesus, it's not life.
So here I am. 35. 18. Whatever. I am and can do nothing without my precious savior Jesus. His first gift was knowledge that I needed to hear but didn't necessarily want to hear. And his second was Himself. He's Life. And more profoundly He's Love.
So my greatest gift for my BIRTH day wasn't my TiVo (although it was awesome). It was Him.
In loving gratitude, I say THANK YOU JESUS ... for everything. For You!
Your friend and disciple,
Michael "TIVOMIKE" Jefferson
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